Gay sera, sera!

If you are among the countless Americans who were saddened, disappointed, disgusted, or otherwise unhappy about the Supreme Court’s ruling on same-sex marriage this past Friday, I have good news: Today’s post is dedicated to helping you come to grips with the decision, and assisting you in coping with living in a country that is more equal today than it was last Thursday.

Before we discuss the actual strategies and tactics for living in a post-marriage equality world, a reminder: The Supreme Court’s ruling only ALLOWS you to marry a person of the same sex. It doesn’t REQUIRE you to do so. Nor does it require you to divorce your opposite sex spouse and find someone just like him or her but with private parts that resemble your own.

It should also be noted that the ruling does not require you to kiss, hug, hold hands with, love, like, live with, or acknowledge people of the same sex. It doesn’t even require you to kiss, hug, hold hands with, love, like, or associate with those who do kiss, hug, hold hands with, love, like or acknowledge people of their same sex.

In short, although this may seem like a devastating catastrophe of biblical proportions, it really changes nothing for you. You can still dislike, avoid, mock and malign gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and queer individuals. In fact, unless you work for the government, you can even deny services to gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and queer individuals. Just make sure you tell folks up front that you don’t want their business, so the rest of us will know to avoid yours.

Now, if you are truly having trouble accepting that same sex couples are now equal to opposite sex couples under the law, it may help you to know that you’re not alone. For centuries, millions of decent, hard-working Americans have lived with rules, regulations, laws and other restrictions with which they don’t agree. In fact, up until Friday’s ruling, an estimated 60% of the US adult population lived in a country where the laws did not align with their sense of fairness and justice with respect to marriage.

And history is full of other examples to comfort you. In fact, not that long ago African Americans lived under a system that regarded them as property, which, it turns out, they weren’t all that happy about. They then had to contend with Jim Crow, the Separate but Equal Doctrine, and institutional racism that prevented them from going to college, landing certain jobs, and buying homes in certain neighborhoods. Going back even further, you’ll find people who could not say the earth was round or that it revolved around the sun, without being jailed or otherwise punished.

If it doesn’t comfort you to know you’re not alone in your suffering, there are places you can go where the laws and customs are more suited to your beliefs. I refer to places like Russia, Iran, and other parts of the Middle East, where gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and queer people can’t walk the street without harassment, much less get married. Of course, such people are also routinely jailed, beaten, and executed. But, hey, at least you won’t be expected to cater or attend any d@mn gay weddings!

One word of caution: Before you decide to relocate to another country in hopes of living in a place where the laws align with your views on same-sex marriage, do your research. Because several industrialize countries—such as Canada, Mexico, Ireland, Spain, Sweden, Chile, Norway, Iceland, and the UK, to name a few—have already legalized same-sex unions, and you would not want to go to all that trouble of packing up and moving away only to wind up in one of them.

If you’re still despondent at the prospect of living in a country that allows same-sex marriage, and you’re not too keen on relocating, there is still hope! In fact, only hours after Friday’s ruling by the Supreme Court, Wisconsin Governor (and aspiring presidential candidate) Scott Walker called for an amendment to the Constitution that would effectively reverse Friday’s decision.

Now, personally, I think Mr. Walker is just playing to his base in the hope it will translate to a flood of donations for his presidential campaign. However, if you’re feeling overwhelmed in the face of the Supreme Court’s decision, and the thought of a constitutional amendment that forces others to live according to your religious or political beliefs would help you feel better, I encourage you to assist Mr. Walker in this goal. Doing so would not only allow you to channel your anger, disgust, and disappointment with the ruling into real action; it would also give you a forum in which to air your disapproval and place you in the company of other like-minded individuals, while possibly influencing the outcome of the next presidential election!

That may sound strange coming from me since I’m 100% in favor of the Friday’s ruling and will have 0% trouble accepting a post-marriage equality America. Nevertheless, I, too, will be putting my money where my mouth is and telling everyone I know about our governor’s call to action. Because as far as I’m concerned, the more people who know about Mr. Walker and his amendment, the better.

Will it do any good? Will it prevent him from winning the nomination? Will it keep him from becoming the least educated, most anti-science president in the history of the United States? Maybe. Maybe not.

But for now–gay sera, sera.


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